


eaten beside you

by roads (lavis)



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Friendships, Emotionally Repressed, F/M, Heavy Angst, POV Daryl Dixon, Protective Daryl Dixon, Slow Burn, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:13:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23271517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavis/pseuds/roads
Summary: he doesn't know how to be tender with this much blood in his mouth.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Carol Peletier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	1. wildfire

**Author's Note:**

> this is each moment between daryl and carol in chronological order by season and episode, as viewed by the eyes of daryl.

05

He was trying to negotiate with Rick about Andrea's situation with Amy. Angry with the outcome, he scoffed, grabbed an ax and helped Morales carry a corpse to the burning pile. Though Glenn made them beg to differ about where the dead lay.

Another situation submerged when one of their own was announced bit.

“We don’t kill the living.” A gun pointed to his skull. The silver plates feeling cold beneath his hair. Shane rushed to Rick’s side – like he always did. Daryl spit at the ground, made a comment about the irony of this.

He decided to make due by engaging his ace to Ed’s body, but a fragile, pale woman appeared to his side and Daryl stopped to stare. Hands feeling heavy and weak by her mere image.

Her voice was warm, and Daryl could tell she was trying hard to swallow down her sadness. She wanted to be the one to do it, and he understood, passing the ax to her. Theirs fingers touched, but he knew not to engage. Carol’s eyes were filled with tears, shoulders shaking from the choked sobs that tried to escape. He moved to the side, watched as she hesitated to lower the weapon. She grunted and she sobbed and Daryl felt a strange sensation in his chest about the despair he was witnessing.

06

  
  


It all seemed like paradise. Hot showers, warm beds, and liquor. Jenner had it all and to think he let them in was nothing more than a blessing.

Across from his shower, he saw Carol go into one. Daryl felt his heart bumping faster as her robe fell down and he saw her bare back. It looked firm, yet broken as years of abuse embedded into her shoulder blades. His throat went dry and Daryl had to stop himself from submitting himself to the temptation. She was still grieving, and he understood that it would take time.

“Shit.” he scoffed, chuckling to himself as he towered off and went to the kitchen to grab a drink. He needed something to rid his thoughts of that woman.

If only Merle could see him now, he’d probably nudge him to make a move or make a comment on her hair being shorter than him – but he didn’t care what he had to say. He was lucky enough to hear him at all.


	2. pretty much dead already

01

  
Long hours, yet short nights.

The wind blew through his hair, guiding the group behind him, sun kissing his skin. Daryl wondered about her, how she was doing with the new loss they’ve dealt with.

But a new problem rose when the interstate was blocked by abandoned cars. He rode through each turn, but Dale’s engine blew and he knew they had to stop.

As Dale's whines echoed, Daryl decided to rummage through the first car he saw for supplies. He walked past Carol who was putting a shirt over her chest, seeing if it would fit her.

“Ed never let me wear this,” he heard her say, setting the cloth down.

The looting did not last long when Rick noticed a herd of walkers coming north of them. Bodies meeting the ground and under the vehicles.

Blood filled the atmosphere when Daryl found T-Dog with a wound across his forearm. Quickly, he jabbed the walker and pulled the corpse to lay on him, hoping it would conceal his scent.

“Lori, there’s two walkers after my baby!” Carol shrieked, Lori embraced her immediately. Daryl felt the sadness pierce through his chest like an anchor.

Another loss.

03

  
He returned empty handed, no traces of the little girl he longed to find for the woman coated in tears. She was keeping watch with Dale, but when her eyes landed on him, Carol soon entered the trailer. He failed her, he couldn’t find Sophia. Dale opened his mouth, but when he locked eyes with him, he knew the answer already. He shook his head, defeat wretched in his blood as he entered. Daryl felt so helpless, wanted to comfort her, reach out and caress her hand and tell her it would be okay, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t sure it would be okay, but he wanted so bad for it to be.

He stood there, frozen, letting the sobs be his punishment.

04

  
“My other plans fell through,” thoughts of Carol coming to mind, walking out to the woods with his crossbow hanging on his shoulder.

With his weapon ready, he came upon a house, lurking through the shadows with Sophia in mind.. He heard rummaging through a single door, his heart raced and hopes inflated. He sighed in disappointment when he peeked through to find an animal.. Lowering his crossbow, Daryl continued to search for any sign of her. He just had to. He couldn’t give up, not yet. He already knew Carol had, he could tell by the numbness of her voice each time she spoke.

☆

He didn’t show up empty handed this time.

He walked into the trailer, glanced towards the dishes and found Carol knitting – she had that smile; a little lost, but yearning evident in her eyes

Daryl chewed on a small vine, “I thought I was in the wrong place.” A small laugh, almost like a whisper, escaped her lips, and he forgot what he was about to say next. Instead, he places a white rose inside a bottle on the counter for her to see. Her nose crunched up as she blinked twice, almost as if she couldn’t believe him.

“A flower?” she asked so gently.

“It’s a Cherokee Rose,” he explains. She looked so confused, eyes nudging him for an explanation. He told her about the mothers of the Trail of Tears. Her knitting stopped, emotions overwhelming, left speechless. She didn’t need to say thank you because her smile was just enough for him; it always was Daryl headed for the door and assured her that Sophia was going to like this place. She smiled big with watery eyes, and Daryl knew he was never going to give up.

05

  
His eyelids felt heavy, but the pain was unbearable to let himself rest. Daryl laid on his side, arms under the pillow pushing his head for support and he was cold — so, _so_ cold. He wanted to lift the sheet higher, but an ache throbbed and gave up before he could.

The door creaked open and it was her, with a plate of food. Swallowing the pain, he lifted up the sheet, so Carol wouldn’t see his wound. He wouldn’t want her to feel guilty over something he chose to do. She asked him how he felt, and he wanted to answer with shitty, but instead he answered with sarcasm.

He didn’t want to look at her. Daryl knew she’d be upset that he didn’t find Sophia.

“I brought you some dinner, you must be starving.” Carol said, placing the plate on the nightstand and he glanced at it, having no interest in eating it. Feeling like he didn’t deserve it. He turned back to face the wall until he saw her shadow hovering over him, and he couldn’t help but flinch when her lips pressed against his head. His eyes lingering on hers for a bit until she said something that soothed his pain.

“You did more for my little girl than her daddy ever did.”

Daryl turned over when she left, sinking his face into the pillow, the warmth of her lips running through his entire body like a fever.

He didn’t feel cold anymore.

07

  
She didn’t want him to go, he knew. He knew the moment she walked in, stood behind him and hugged herself. Carol reminded him about his wound, he shrugged, and gave no answer to her pleas. After all, Daryl was doing this for her – for her daughter, her happiness, her.

“We don’t know if we’re gonna find her,” traces of sadness lingering on her lips, “ _I_ don’t.”

“What?” It was more of a statement than a question and he didn’t want to hear more of what she had to say. Tears slid down her cheek, he walked past her, trying to swallow down his anger. How could she give up like that? How could she lose faith in Sophia being alive?

“I don't want to lose you too.” Carol whispered, but Daryl was pent up with rage and threw off the saddle that was in front of him, his wound throbbed with pain, clutching on to his shirt.

She rushed to his side, but his anger replaced his pain again and told her to leave him be. He didn’t need this right now.

But as Daryl was walking off, with regret filling his veins and words he wished he could take back, “Stupid bitch.”

She didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve that, but the words already left his lips. He wanted to turn around and apologize, but he couldn’t face her － not now.

☆

The rose called for him and he guided her to see it. They’re blooming for _her_ , Daryl just knew and he wanted Carol to see that.

She stared blankly at the white rose, silence filling the atmosphere. He figured he earned that, She didn’t need to talk to him or answer him at all for what he called her earlier.

“I’m sorry for what happened in the morning.”

“You wanted to look for her.” She said immediately, avoiding his eyes. God, he wanted her to look at him.

After a few exchanged words, she asked why he was looking for Sophia.

 _For you_ , is what he wanted to say, but instead, “What else do I gotta’ do?”

Carol smiled, and he wondered how she would’ve reacted if he told her the truth.

☆

Shane was out of his mind, but he had his reasons to be when Rick and Hershel arrived back to the dorm with walkers in their hands.

“Enough looking for a little girl that’s gone.” Shane howled, looking at Carol. Daryl wanted to aim his crossbow to his head.

The barn opened up, everyone positioned themselves to shoot at the walkers. Hershel knelled down, anguish coating his face, and Daryl followed. He didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. Rick's pleas echoed behind him, but Shane was right. It couldn’t be this way anymore.

Bullets fell into whispers, bodies piled up, silence and cries were the only remaining noise. Suddenly, there was a small growl awakening from the doors, Shane prepared himself for the last walker to approach him.  
Daryl couldn’t believe it. It was only a child － it was Sophia.

“Sophia?” Carol whimpered. She sobbed her name over and over.. Daryl looked over his shoulder and saw her running towards her lost daughter. He dropped his weapon immediately to catch her, his arm wrapping around her stomach, her sobs becoming stronger. He ignored the throb in his body, falling with her.

Sophia threaded over the rest of the walkers, shaking, growling, hungry for blood. He pushed Carol closer to his chest as he watched Rick lower the barrel of his gun to her skull.

Shots fired, Carol collapsed further, digging her face into the ground. All was left was her sobs echoing through the land.

“Don’t look.” Daryl repeated, “don’t look…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haven't finished rewatching season two, i'm sorry. i got too excited. will update when i finish :)


End file.
